Chapped Legs and Greased Nipples

At some point, especially with the oncoming cold, this training thing requires that one listen to those who've done it before. To one of my College of Coaches I mentioned: "It's getting cold out here, so this is becoming more interesting in the morning." This was after a run where I came home, and it appeared my legs were chapped and my nipples were sore.

One piece of advice I took to heart: "You don't need to be uncomfortable to do this. Dress appropriately, but not too warmly." So I went to the Shoe Shack, where fortunately there was a sale on last year's styles, and I was able to purchase a nice set of lightweight running pants and a jacket with reflective piping.

The other piece of advice I didn't heed as thoroughly: "If it's getting colder, the air's also getting drier. You should start greasing your nipples." I thought this was some sort of new runner snipe hunt, and I ignored it vigorously.

I'd seen the nipple discomfort mentioned in one of the "Zillion things that can happen when running a marathon" article in the Chicago Tribune a few weeks ago, and thought that this was something that could only happen to people who spent more than four dollars on a cup of coffee or hired therapists for their dogs at $120/per hour. Low and behold, it can happen to people like me who rarely pay more than a dollar for coffee (or mooch it) and put the dog in the garage when he barks too much.

Unfortunately, I was involved in a large corporate function on Friday, and while speaking with high-level executives, I was often thinking, "Darn, my nipples are really sore." I explained to my wife this dilemma, and she went into a monologue about how "women have had nipples for millions of years, and all of a sudden men figure out that you have to treat them correctly..." and continued on to discuss layering, preparation, etc., and continuing to explain that the article I had read in the Tribune was probably written by a man (actually written by a woman Chicago Tribune staffer Julie Deardorff). I am, however, remediated, and I am obviously more sensitive than I was earlier in the day.

Anyway when I go out in the morning, I'll be wearing pants and greasing my nipples, and there will be nothing NC-17 about it. Just me, aerodynamic, greased, and wholesomely running.